A Loss Of Control
by KirbyPuff97
Summary: Raven must turn to rituals to calm her father inside her. Beast boy comes to her seeing the circumstances of her struggle.Letting her know she's not alone the two begin to talk and begin to feel closer and maybe more.I DON'T OWN ANYTHING. Enjoy my work and please review. Warning violent and may be sexual at some point also swearing is in there.
1. Chapter 1

Raven lost control of her emotions as her vase shattered. She cried for hours, but that is where here tormenter left her. Her father was pushing her, his dark spirit consumed her whole. He had more control, and she hated him for it. She held a goblet in front of her, a golden jewled goblet given to her by her mother that she had found just months before this all happened to her. "Azarath Metreon Zinthos" she said her mantra and the goblet glowed. She took out the blessed dagger, it seared and burned the deamon inside her. She cut a place on her palm and drained the flowing blood into the goblet. Once the bleeding stopped Raven placed a black silk bandage around it. "Azarath Metreon Zinthos" Her mantra turned the blood pure red and had been clensed. She unwrapped her hand and poured the pure blood over the cut. She let out a pained scream and another mirror shattered in Starfire's room. The pure calmed her father giving her control, that was the purpose of the goblet, to give Raven control. The cut was mostly healed but still needed a few days. Raven froze hearing a loud knock on her metal door. "Rae you alright? You souned like you were in pain and Star's mirror shattered again!" Beast boy was not the most wanted company but Raven allowed him to come. He walked in with concern in his eyes seeing Raven covered in her own blood. "What the fuck Rae?!" He was running to her to inspect the damage. "Is that what it is for?" He asked pointing at the goblet and dagger. "It's for control Beast boy...That you would not really understand." He looked at Raven in confusion and then complete understanding. "I might know more about losing control then you think Raven...Who said I wasn't having that exact struggle right now" Raven's eyes widened. She never knew she'd feel the need to open up to the green titan. "What are you saying then?" Raven said getting up balling her hands into fist holding back tears. "I am part animal Raven I have instincts and urges from all of them, and believe me it is not easy" He knew she was about to break but would she crack in front of him. "Raven I crack all those jokes to distract myself from those urges, and that is actually why they are not funny...Because there is minor thought that goes into it" She gapped at him. He actually admitted to his jokes having no humor to them. "Why are you telling me this?" She stared him in the eyes letting him see it. "Because for the first time in your life you need to know you're not alone and not the only one who gets covered in their own blood because of it" He held her hands and was sounding so serious, and this was very unlike him. She finally gave in dropping to her knees crying, he kneeled with her holding her. "Such a presious thing should not hold back so much Rae, even if you are part deamon you are still a young woman...You need comfort and affection...You need to let people in...Instead of pushing away just take it" he held her to his chest, he had grown larger and more masculine " I am actually surprised you even let me in...unless you are that broken Rae" She woke up hours later alone and saw she was clean and her hand properly wrapped in bandages. she saw a note on her dresser saying 'You fell asleep in my arms you looked exausted so I cleaned you...By the way this little thing between us I won't speak of until you do. Talk to me more often Rae - BB' She considered this holding the note she fell back asleep knowing there is more than people really say in this pool of secrets.


	2. Chapter 2

Raven sat at her grand piano in her room, playing her emotions to a tee. She must have been way to into it because Beast Boy startled her by saying "Damn Rae you play?" she jumped shattering another vase. "Oh shit sorry Rae!" he quickly held her smaller form as her heart calmed down. "What did you come here for?" she asked curiously as she remembered the ordeal from a week earlier her eyes moved to the goblet and back at the green skinned man. "Well I'm here to ask about that 'issue' and if you thought about opening up to me, but you not instantly telling me to leave is a start...I think" he scratched his head trying to not get drowned in the good smells of the empath. Raven sighed "Yes I have thought about it..every night actually, and I guess trying after the things you shared wouldn't hurt" she looked nervouse and the changeling saw this putting his hand on her shoulder. "Do it slow Rae this is not a common thing for you" he smiled. Raven got up sitting on her bed patting the space beside her and Beast Boy took the invitation. She sighed and finally told someone her pain. "It started to get bad after my fourth birthday and that caused my mom to train me with the monks and after years of doing it I found myself alone in this city. That is when I meet you guys trying to contain Star and helping felt so...amazing and when everyone decided to become a team I didn't feel so hopeless, until a year in the team titans had passed and I started to lose control again and it was way worse..like every dark part of me wanted to consume my body, and you know everything that happened during that time...Then a few months ago my mom found the goblet that was used to purify the...evil. Just this past month has been tourture trying to keep it all at bay. I am so alone and emotional but trying to retain that emotionless outside that everyone sees" She never knew how good talking about her feelings felt and looking at Beast Boy she was shocked again by a look of complete understanding and compassion. "I think during these sessions we'll be finding how much more like eachother we are" He hugged her and her breath caught in her chest but something was different..nothing broke or shattered, she felt a fuzzy but warm rise in her chest that made her inner deamon cower in fear. This hug made her feel like she was no longer alone. "Rae I will tell you now that..I guess we both have a fearsome beast within never really shuts off, but I really get your issue because when that beast in me surfaces...just like you I can't stop" Ravens eyes grew wider as he basically explained every incident with her losing control from another person's problems. After the long chat he leaves and Raven heads to her shower truning it on stripping down and steapping in dropping to her knees and hugging herself leaning against the wall letting a smile come, and a tear slide.


End file.
